The Republican enigma
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 12, 2009
When Bush was in office, Republicans claimed they were doing good, but now that Obama is in office they claim they are doing good still but Obama has tanked the economy. What’s going on?
The way to bridge this seeming contradiction is by looking at it this way. The Republicans may now be saying they are doing good still while Obama is in office but few people believe them anymore and their popularity is not going up as a result of their claims.
It seems to me the Republicans are great at shooting themselves on the foot and that is good for the country, good for Obama and good for the Republicans in so far as they discovered a way to allow themselves to feel good about themselves even if the rest of the country doesn’t take them seriously anymore.
That skill of doing good at every level and pleasing oneself by hurting oneself which the Republicans so amply possess at the moment should be highly commended 
Boog-mesis
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 12, 2009
It’s a bug that lives in your nose and it’s hard to pull out like a regular booger, it sticks to the inside of your nostrils and may stay there for ever. It’s called boog-mesis and comes from a beautiful orange-blue flower that is most common in Queensland and South Australia. The flower exudes alluring aromas that make people think it’s harmless. Even the slightest whiff can be enough to welcome the tiny bugs in your nose. To recover from boog-mesis, you’ll have to take nasal spray every day for a month before intense sneezing subsides and even then healing may not be complete as the bugs can fester in your nose for months. Be careful during spring and summer. Mesis!
Choco Pens
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 12, 2009
The idea is chocolate bars in the shape of any item students carry with them at school and place on their desks. Good ideas for shapes include pens, pencils, notebooks, stationary, exam sheets etc. To be eaten or chewed upon when bored during class. Some students are in the bad habit of chewing the tip of the pen when bored, why not chew a chocolate bar that looks like the pen but tastes so much better? The taste can be anything the student likes
Kill 2 Birds or (up to) 600 fish with 1 Stone!
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 11, 2009
There is a fishing practice in Japan that uses birds to catch fish. A British friend reminded me about it when he heard me using the phrase, kill two birds with one stone.
“If you aim for the wrong bird in Japan”, he said, “your kill might cost you up to 600 fish on a good day“. Yeah, right. It’s true though. Not many people know about cormorant fishing so if you’re interested here’s how it’s done.
The cormorant is a dark-colored water bird with a long neck, a hooked bill, and a distensible throat pouch. The fishermen keep the birds on individuals leashes and can handle up to 12 of these large birds at the same time. Around the birds’ neck they place a small ring to prevent them from swallowing fish above a certain size.
Cormorant fishing only takes place at night. To attract a fish a bright burning wood brazier is suspended above the water. The birds are then allowed to begin their hunt.
When the bird’s pouch is full, it is pulled back into the boat and its catch is removed. Each time the bird is put into water, it catches from two to four fish and a total catch on a good night is about 50. Cormorants need about two weeks of training before they can do their job properly. Cormorant fishing was invented to catch a river fish called ayu or sweetfish which disdains fisherman’s bait. The fish is highly prized in Japan.
When you throw a stone to hit two birds in Japan, be careful which birds you aim for. Cormorants are worth a small fortune and are great entertainment to watch.
Obama didn’t soften up US foreign policy.
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 11, 2009
A lot of people believe that US foreign policy has softened up because Obama is in charge. It’s true that Obama is someone who actually believes in dialogue and diplomacy. But I don’t think the reason why US foreign policy softened up is because of Obama. It’s rather because the US has more pressing problems to deal with domestically.
US Presidents set the tone and direction of the country’s foreign policy. Obama is definitely more interested in solving his country’s problems first. The rest of the world can wait. Better still, other countries can start work on solving world problems on their own.
Surprisingly, Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize even though it is clear his priorities are domestic. He rather be remembered as the President who transformed America than the President who brought lasting peace to the Middle East.
If the Palestinians and the Israelis, for example, make peace under Obama’s watch, it will probably be because they want it more than the US or its President do. The way things stand, it’s highly unlikely that Israelis and Palestinians will make peace any time soon.
So be it, the US tells them. When you’re ready, we’re here. In the meantime, good luck on your own.
People say Obama reads the world very well, that’s why he is not interested in forcing anything on anyone. I think the opposite is true. Over and beyond Obama’s belief in dialogue and diplomacy, the US can’t afford to be a bully anyway. It’s very convenient and productive that Obama is in charge and the US is not swimming against the world’s currents.
But go with the flow, that’s the only option anyway!
Hack into someone else’s romantic marriage proposal
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 11, 2009
My thought brings no harm or embarrassment to any party. Some people can afford to take their significant other to a romantic spot and while they look up into the sky, a plane forms the words “Marry Me”. The guy usually takes out the ring and proposes. Nice idea but costs money. A solution to make it more affordable is to group people who plan to propose on the same day together and have them share the cost but, personally, I don’t like that idea so much.
I prefer to hack into the company’s log, check where and when the plane will take off, take my girlfriend there and propose to her while the guy who will actually foot the bill is also proposing nearby. It’s called taking advantage of open spaces, I am not stealing the other guy’s moment, he still gets to do his stunt. I, on the other hand, am effecting a multiple use of an event that is bound to take place anyway, why waste it when others can benefit from it and when no one will ever find out about it?
If you don’t know how to hack, hire a hacker, it will still cost you much less than if you paid full price for the thing. How cool is that? Wait! I have a last-minute tip. Before you take the ring out, read something romantic to her and use the time to CHECK no name follows the “Marry Me” sentence, the romantic words will reinforce the moment, checking that no names suddenly appear next to the magic words can save you from disaster…
What is your favorite rule of the Church of Satan?
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 11, 2009
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Satan#The_Eleven_Satanic_Rules_of_the_Earth
For me number 5 is the most hilarious. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal?? That sounds as hard to follow as a fellow Catholic would find “No sex before marriage” to be. Obviously, no pure Satanist can take it seriously. Imagine you’re pure to your faith because you have the devil inside and your Church makes up rule number 5 and asks you to control your lust. It’s almost saying “Ban Rape” from your life. It’s such a preposterously Christian thing to ask, it’s so preposterous it’s not even funny.
I think the Church needs to change rule number 5, because it sounds so 999-like. Suspicion is high that the Church has been infiltrated by Christian guerrillas determined to humiliate and destroy the Devil and his legacy. I propose the following variations to give it more of a 69er spin and a nasty breath of hell…
5=999. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal
699. Give the mating signal yourself before you make missionary sexual advances to a member of the opposite Church
669. Give the mating signal yourself before you make all kinds of sexual advances to any member, non-member or dismembered person of any Church
666. You don’t have to give or receive any mating signal in order to make all kinds of nasty sexual advances you so darkly desire to anyone you so lustfully desire
That sounds more like a rule written for the Church of Satan. The letter of the rule clearly follows and animates the spirit of the Devil! It’s also non-discriminatory, Satanically-correct and designed to lust forever!
I like it better already even though I’m not a versed member of the Church of Satan (proud member of the Church of Someone’s-Laughing-at-You).
Help the Church of Satan by picking your favorite from the list and give it The Devil’s Spin. May Hell treat your soul with Mercy (lol)
—
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth, please examine carefully:
1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don’t stop, destroy them.
Hey, pick a better role model!
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 11, 2009
Little Johnny’s curiosity got aroused. Why do people say politicians are dumb? Isn’t getting rich with little effort smart? Politicians make millions in salary, bonuses, lobbyist payments, bribes, exclusive contracts and money from foreign interests. And all that for doing little more than signing a paper here and there. Can you imagine how smart someone has to be in order to deceive enough people into voting for him or her, and then living off their power? Wouldn’t you do just that too, if you had the chance? Save millions in a number account in Switzerland while showing up to work only a couple of times per week, for an hour each time?
Yes I think so, but No I wouldn’t.
If I had the chance to save millions in a number account in Switzerland while showing up to work only a couple of times per week, I would be a politician. You’re right!
But if I had the chance to save billions in a number account in Switzerland while showing up to work only a couple of times per week to party mad with escorts and off with cocaine, I wouldn’t be a politician, I would be Madoff.
I think Little Johnny got his role models wrong. Politicians are ok but neither the smartest nor the richest gang, so..
..little johnny if you are to pick a role model for a rich man who’s smart and plays top league, then a politician is only an ok bet. Madoff is a better bet and someone like Madoff who never gets caught is your best bet.
Signs of Wisdom
Posted by: thinkaloo on: November 10, 2009
I know, I know, the title alone can be misleading. The kind of wisdom I have in mind is of a very specific nature. And so are its signs. And so it must be dully noted that what I have in my mind is a result of yet another trip down silly lane. Something has been pervading my thoughts as of late and perhaps you might have some insight on the matter. The intention here is to learn how to appreciate reflections of wisdom wherever they come from and where ever they may appear. So in a totally random fashion I caught myself wondering about hair. Men’s hair. White/Grey hair. If its appearance on a man’s upper head make him look sexy and wise, is it equally sexy-looking and wise-appearing if the hair also crops up in his groin?
Assuming the area is not waxed or fully shaved and the baldy fellow is in a ramrod state of continuous hypernation, a few grey hair around him would be cute. But I suppose it would be a different story if the bagpipe was in a state of continuous hibernation.
Testicle hibernation would suggest too much wisdom has been accumulated on the cherry splitter that renders him unsuitable to carry out any serious piston movement. So it must be that any signs of sexual wisdom/experience are welcome only up to the point where physical and mental stimulation has room to flourish.
When the condition is not satisfied, the spectacle is not exciting and therefore I say any reference to old age around the sickly cane must be unplucked.
If my visuals feel harsh and disrespectful to the rare spectacle of having white/grey follicles appear around a penis that is no longer a ramrod gun but has irreversibly resized itself into a beetle, then guys remember this. No matter how much aesthetic consideration a woman has for her man, there will always lurk somewhere in her mind’s most deepest practical recesses the strong desire to merge good aesthetics with unfettered friction…
And that I hope settles the issue of how to appreciate signs of wisdom where ever on a man’s body they may appear.
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